A Sense of Direction

IT was my turn to be laughed at today (my turn seems to come round remarkably quickly). I had been telling everyone about my week away from the office to do a training course. I happened to mention that I had never taken the same route twice and I had got lost at some point on my journey every day.

On the way home on my last day I was so hopelessly off course that as I approached a junction I looked to see where the sun was, knowing that I lived to the west.

Where was this training course? John O' Groats? Isle of Wight? Timbuctoo? No, at Exeter about 25 miles from my home in the county where I have lived practically all my life.

On Friday I needed to do my weekly grocery shopping. The Dearly Beloved gave me very detailed instructions on how to get from the course venue to a Tesco. I followed his instructions to the letter .... or thought I had. I was feeling very proud of myself as I saw a sign that said "Superstore" ... and found myself in Sainsbury's car park.

Needless to say, I have no sense of direction and every journey is fraught with disastrous possibilities.
I have a formula. X=destination, D=distance, T=time, L=packed lunch, F=flask, M=map and P=mobile phone.

It goes something like this. If D is more than 10 miles then the probability is that L + F will have been consumed before I get there. 2M will have been torn up in frustration and P will have been used ad infinitum. T will have been caught up in the space/time continuum where 10 minutes = 1 hour. X will be variable and the whole may as will have been sucked into a black hole on the outer reaches of the stratosphere.

QED: I never ought to be let out alone.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, don't worry, Chick. It's a girl thang!! I once got lost driving to my moms house. She lives a few blocks from me and its a journey I've taken probably thousands of times in my life. Hubby despairs of me but I think, let him have his moment of glory, after all I'm so much better than him at MOST things!!!