World Cup, Wolf Hall and Diagnosis Murder

AS the World Cup begins, I thought I'd share this clip from the BBC website with you. Its hilarity has been somewhat tempered for me by the spelling of 'fundamental' in the caption... but then I am a picky old (very old - just had a birthday) sub-editor. Maybe it was deliberate and I'm missing the point. What do I know?

I've just had a week's holiday during which I have done about one-tenth of all the things I planned. I was going to springclean the house, decorate a few rooms, landscape the garden, write a novel, put an end to war, pestilence and famine, plug BP's spilling oil well at the bottom the ocean... that kind of thing.

My new motto was carpe diem ('seize the day', as I'm sure you knew). I tried to carpe my diem, really I did, but I ended up sitting in the garden reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. Not much diem got carped, unfortunately. I also developed the old lady habit of falling asleep in the chair after lunch. One minute I was joining all those Loose Women and the next I'd awake to Dr Mark Sloan solving a grisly mystery in Diagnosis Murder. He's a full time doctor in a busy hospital and still finds time for some very successful sleuthing. Do you know how that makes me feel, Dr Mark Sloan? Well, do you? There's you tackling a triple heart by-pass before breakfast, dealing with the victims of a head-on train crash before lunch, tracking down a vicious drugs baron in the afternoon and still finding time for a great social life with all your fellow doctors and that dopey son of yours, who doesn't seem to be able to wipe his bum without your help, in the evening. I can barely stir myself to lift a feather duster.

Oh well, it's Saturday and I have plans. I've finished Wolf Hall so I must find another of the many unread books in my house to tackle. I fancy something a little lighter after the 650 pages of Wolf Hall. I have some detective novels knocking about. Perhaps I could pick up a few tips and when I'm back at work I can sub a few newspapers before elevenses, do a complete redesign before lunch, rewrite every single story so it's completely to my liking (oh how I wish I had time to do that!) in the afternoon and find out the identity of Jack the Ripper in the evening. That's Monday taken care of. Now what am I going to do for the rest of the week?

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  1. I can help with the Jack the Ripper mystery: he was an Irish-American called Francis Tumblety. There's no point trying to catch him as he's dead, but you could always fly to America and dig up his grave. Carpe his rotten Diem, Mrs Table!

  2. I had plans to do so many things once I retired but all I've done is go on trips, gardening, reading and sleeping in the garden. :)

  3. I know exactly the kind of Saturday you're talking about. I've almost completely wasted mine and I van't carped it at all. I slept all afternoon. I needed it, that's my excuse. I'm old and tired, that's my other one. How I wish to do twntu two things on a day and live to tell about it. I would brag about it on my blog. No such thing will happen. I will have to make it all up.

  4. "It's saturday, and i have plans."

    i love that line.

    my saturday plan was to go for a bike ride. but it was raining, so i quickly switched plans to sitting on the porch with an afghan, a space heater, an entire bowl of cookies, a dog, and a book.

    i haven't finished wolf hall yet. i'm on to "the passage," the big book of the summer. *big.* as in 700 pages.

  5. You sure know this site is from the UK when you read about "elevenses". What a term. In Canada we would call this something very boring like a "coffee break" - even if you drink tea. But these day with all these private companies (usually American)running Canada(I don't know about the UK), I haven't had a "coffee break" in years. Poor us.

  6. Love your old lady habit of falling asleep after lunch...

  7. Now I thought the murder and the world cup were more intimately connected but no, I was just thinking about me.
    I still think I can achieve mountains of things in a day while a gentle rise is really all that is realistic. Don't know why this happens. Maybe all those working days left me with a sense that if I weren't working all would be sorted. Wrong.

  8. Can't remember how I found you here (maybe Milla or ElizabethM or was it via Twitter?) but LOVED Wolf Hall and now reading Iain Pears...while the weeds merrily rampage.
    You're in North Devon? I'm waving from Exmoor....Dulverton, to be precise..
    Carpe diem indeed - vina liques and all that...raises glass.