Big Dick Energy - You've Either Got It Or You Haven't

Toffee doesn't think she has it. But she does.

I tweeted the other day that if I never hear about Big Dick Energy again, it won't be a day too soon.  Most people are fed up to the back teeth with reading about it. But that's not going to stop me writing about it…

If you've been holidaying in the Siberian wastes without your phone over the last couple of weeks, you might not know what I'm talking about. Explanation: it's nothing to do with the size of a man's manhood (thankfully - I can't cope with all that smutty business. I'm a buttoned up Brit). It's all to do with charisma and confidence. People who light up a room have it. Those who suck the energy out of it don't; those people have SDE (Small Dick Energy).

Now I find myself looking at everyone and labelling them as BDE or SDE - often they're in between so I label them ADE (Average Dick Energy), which I guess is most people.

Although it's nothing to do with "size", that's how the whole thing began when Ariana Grande tweeted and soon deleted  about how generously endowed her fiancĂ© Pete Davidson was (eww - too much information, Ariana). In the way of social media, the whole thing escalated and evolved. In fact, so removed is it now from men's body parts, it's acknowledged that women have it too.

It is confidence without arrogance, a quiet assurance. It's about not trying too hard, about being happy with who you are and not feeling the need to put others down to make yourself feel better. It’s about radiating energy that attracts people and gives the impression you have your life together. People with BDE make others feel good. 

Conversely, those with LDE exude a toxic masculinity, arrogance, pettiness and an in-your-face attitude.

In a way it's a comforting concept. We women may know handsome, successful men who we'd walk across broken glass to avoid - and other men don't really understand why. And then there are the average looking men who always have women buzzing around them. You'd never attach the #metoo hashtag to this man.

Of course, it's the same with men. They might think they want a Victoria's Secret model to hang out with but they so often prefer a sassy confident woman who's good company and makes them feel good about themselves. Not that a Victoria's Secret model can't have BDE but it's not a prerequisite of the job.

What I find fascinating is that your BDE could be my LDE. Harry Styles has been held up as a man with BDE but, maybe I'm just too old, he's just a little boy to me. And Robert Downey Jr?  No, definitely not.

So who are your BDEs? Here are ten off the top of my head. It's not my definitive list; I'll have changed my mind by tomorrow. In fact, I'm already changing my mind...

  1. Dame Judi Dench
  2. England football team manager Gareth Southgate (but definitely not his predecessor Sam Allardyce)
  3. Tom Hanks (but not Leonardo Di Caprio)
  4. Meryl Streep
  5. Michelle Obama (but not Hillary Clinton - and that's nothing to do with their politics)
  6. Hugh Jackman
  7. Comedian Jo Brand
  8. Sir David Attenborough
  9. Writer Anne Cleeves (not 100% sure about this one as I've never seen her interviewed but she writes as if she has BDE)
  10. Prince Harry (but not Prince William - he's ADE in my rating)

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  1. I'm one of those who've been vacationing in the Siberian wastelands. Now, I'm fascinated. I don't think I know any Big Dick Energy people but I'm going to have fun grading everyone over the next few days.

    1. It's an interesting concept - I don't know many people with BDE either!

  2. I agree with 1-3-4-5-6-10, I love Dame Judi Dench, but I don't know #2 or #7 or #9. I dislike David Attenborough because his voice on those interminable documentaries puts me to sleep, he sounds so boring.

    1. David Attenborough is a bit of a god here in the UK - but I get what you mean about "interminable" documentaries. They do go on a bit sometimes!

  3. I'm not fond of the way language evolves around celebrities and social medial. Ugh... Have fun sorting dicks. Heh...

    1. Know what you mean but sometimes impossible to escape!

  4. Great article!! I was another who must of been in Siberia cos I'd never heard of bde either! I'm now looking at every body in a different light!!

    1. Thanks, Stephanie. I'm beginning to wish I'd never heard of it as I'm looking at everybody and sizing them up!

  5. This is interesting. BDE: Stephen Colbert, Cher, Idris Elba, Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Henry Cavill, Frances McDormand and Judnick Mayard. As for LDE - too many to mention!! :)

    1. There are a couple of people on this list who I don't know but I'll take your word for it!

  6. I had not heard this term, I hope it doesn't catch on over here...I feel tired a lot; I'd prefer to have people just say "He looks tired."

    I'll stick with Charismatic (BDE) and Asshole (LDE).

    1. You definitions are much better than Big Dick Energy!