Guilty Secrets

WHAT guilty little addictions do you have? I’m not talking about the big addictions – drugs, sex, rock and roll, 12 pints of Buckfast before breakfast – but the little ones.
It was confession time this evening and we shared a few of the things that get us through the day.
Mine is books. I read a review and the next thing I know I’m on the Amazon website and ordering it. Dearly Beloved shakes his head in bemusement and makes comments like: “Just what we need in this house, another book.”
I have developed the expertise of an alcoholic but instead of a bottle of vodka in the bread bin, it’s A Short History of Tractors in the Ukraine. I have The Blind Assassin in my wardrobe, Anna Karenina under my pillow and A Suitable Boy under my bed.
It’s a family thing. We’re forever lugging about carrier bags full of “gear” and whispering things out the sides of our mouths like, “This Bill Bryson came in last night. Grade A. Interested?”
“Yeah, I’ll swap you two Minette Walters, a Ruth Rendell and a P.D. James for the Bryson, an old John Fowles and a Margaret Atwood.”
Then there’s stationery. I have enough in my house to stock a small branch of WH Smith’s. I can’t pass a notebook with a pretty cover without buying it and then can’t bear to spoil it by writing in it. I have a huge collection of fountain pens, including some expensive Parkers and Sheaffers, and the only one I use cost £5.99 in Tesco. I have drawers full of sticky labels, coloured paper, ballpoints that write in lots of different colours and sets of writing paper and envelopes. I had to stop myself from buying a geometry set the other day, protractors, set squares and compasses no longer being an integral part of my life.
I have dozens of little cardboard filing boxes – and still can’t find a damn thing when I want it.
However, they have come in handy for hiding a complete set of the 2002 Booker Prize shortlist, most of which I’ve read the first few pages and then abandoned. Have you read Life of Pi by Yann Martel? What on earth was all that about! I’d rather cuddle up with Martin Chuzzlewit and David Copperfield any day.
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  1. With me its shoes. I have nearly a hundred pairs and, I'm ashamed to say, some are still in their boxes. It's definately an addiction but it cheers me up no end!!

  2. I'm a bit like the Vicar of Dibley. I have chocolate hidden away all over the place and start to feel a bit panicky if I can't find any!

  3. I slogged through Life of Pi and deleted it from my kindle the same minute I finished it. And I don't imagine the movie will be any better so I'm not seeing it.