Strictly Boring

Anne Widdecombe in Strictly Come Dancing

On Wednesday morning I had to haul my sorry ass out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5.30am.

But it was OK, I’m more of a morning person than an evening person, unlike the dearly beloved who, I swear, would still be in bed when I get home in the evening if he didn’t have my tender ministrations to start his day - a few kicks to the leg and loud swearing in his ear. What would he do without me?

Conversely, if we go out I’m ready for bed almost before I’ve put on my party harvest festivals (all is safely gathered in) while he’s flexing his muscles to prop up a bar until dawn.

I’m fine until midnight then, like Cinderella minus the youth, beauty, glam frock and sparkly shoes, I’m ready to flee.

So I was more than a little miffed to read that evening people tend to be more creative, intelligent, humorous and extroverted.

Morning people, on the other hand, are more optimistic, proactive and conscientious. Conscientious? How bloody boring is that? Sounds like the class swot – the one who can reel off the causes of the First World War without drawing breath.

I’m sure Anne Widdecombe was conscientious at school but you wouldn’t want her behind you in a conga line at a drunken New Year’s Eve party, would you? [For all my non-Brit friends, Anne Widdecombe is an ex-politician not noted for her sparkling wit and repartee but IS noted for making an absolute prat of herself on Strictly Come Dancing, which is like your Dancing With The Stars.]

So I’m going to strive to be an evening person. I’ll add a few more brushstrokes to my masterpiece before going to a party where I dazzle everyone with my scintillating conversation and provoke gales of laughter with my witty bon mots.

Then again, I could do the housework before going to work and in the evening fall asleep in front of the television with a book in one hand, a bar of chocolate in the other and a gin and tonic on the coffee table.

Come to think of it, I think I’ll stay a morning person. Don’t wake me when you come in.

How do you see your future? Here's mine.

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  1. I've always been a night person my nature but sometimes like makes you into a morning person. So in cases like this can we just claim all the best parts of being one or the other?

  2. I'm neither a morning person nor an evening person. I do wake early due to years of conditioning via kids and work commitments, but these days don't come fully 'alive' until after lunch, but then I'm sleepy by 10.30pm and go back to bed.

  3. I'm definitely not extroverted or funny, but I am a night person. Mornings suck. They're for staying in bed and playing games on one's phone.