Big Dick Energy - You've Either Got It Or You Haven't

My grumpy cat Toffee doesn't think she has it but she definitely does.

I tweeted the other day that if I never hear about Big Dick Energy again, it won't be a day too soon.  Most people are fed up to the back teeth with reading about it. But that's not going to stop me writing about it…

If you've been holidaying in the Siberian wastes without your phone over the last couple of weeks, you might not know what I'm talking about. Explanation: it's nothing to do with the size of a man's manhood (thankfully - I can't cope with all that smutty business. I'm a buttoned up Brit). It's all to do with charisma and confidence. People who light up a room have it. Those who suck the energy out of it don't; those people have SDE (Small Dick Energy).

Now I find myself looking at everyone and labelling them as BDE or SDE - often they're in between so I label them ADE (Average Dick Energy), which I guess is most people.

Although it's nothing to do with "size", that's how the whole thing began when singer Ariana Grande tweeted and soon deleted  about how generously endowed her fiancé was (ew - too much information, Ariana). In the way of social media, the whole thing escalated and evolved. In fact, so removed is it now from men's body parts, it's acknowledged that women have it too.

It is confidence without arrogance, a quiet assurance. It's about not trying too hard, about being happy with who you are and not feeling the need to put others down to make yourself feel better. It’s about radiating energy that attracts people and gives the impression you have your life together. People with BDE make others feel good. 

Conversely, those with LDE exude a toxic masculinity, arrogance, pettiness and an in-your-face attitude.

In a way it's a comforting concept. We women may know handsome, successful men who we'd walk across broken glass to avoid - and other men don't really understand why. And then there are the average looking men who always have women buzzing around them. 

Of course, it's the same with men. They might think they want a Victoria's Secret model to hang out with but they so often prefer a sassy confident woman who's good company and makes them feel good about themselves. Not that a Victoria's Secret model can't have BDE but it's not a prerequisite of the job.

What I find fascinating is that your BDE could be my LDE. Harry Styles has been held up as a man with BDE but, maybe I'm just too old, he's just a little boy to me. And Robert Downey Jr?  No, definitely not.

So who are your BDEs? Here are a few off the top of my head. It's not my definitive list; I'll have changed my mind by tomorrow. In fact, I'm already changing my mind... You may have noticed that none of them are exactly spring chickens, which is a reflection of my own age rather than a slur on the BDE qualities of young people!

1. Dame Judi Dench
2. Tom Hanks (but not Leonardo Di Caprio)
3. Meryl Streep (but not Jennifer Lopez)
4. Hugh Jackman
5. Comedian Jo Brand

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