Boxing, Boys and Talking Cats

THE Dearly Beloved went to a friend's house for a boys' night out on Saturday to watch two grown men in baggy shorts and tasteless tattoos batter each other to within an inch of their lives - boxing I think they call it. Either that or a typical night out in Chav Land. I couldn't get too excited about it, despite the prospect of rippling muscles on well-toned male bodies... something I don't see much of these days.

He set off down the road with a few cans of beer clanking around in his Sainsbury's carrier bag looking more like a wino than a sports aficionado. 

Now, you women out there, don't let men fool you that when they get together they have intelligent conversations about politics, sport, and business, interspersed with the odd dirty joke and an exaggerated tale about a girl  they knew when they were 20 who went like a train. Actually, that last bit might be true.

No, the calibre of conversation is much more mundane. 

The hot topic on Saturday night was, apparently, braces (that's suspenders to my readers across the pond) and how handy they are for keeping up your trousers when you have a bit of beer belly - intellectual stuff, I'm sure you will agree.

I think a good time was had by all - he rolled in quite late minus the beer at any rate. He hadn't had too much to drink because he could remember that the British boxer in typical Brit-style had put up a plucky fight before losing to the Russian. There's a surprise.

On a completely  different subject, I am now the proud owner of an iPad 2, thanks to a cheap (well, cheap-ish) offer from my employers.

I'm sure they think their staff will be using these handy tools for work-related projects - hmmm, maybe one day.  I have so far downloaded apps for Scrabble, mah-jong, identifying garden birds, crosswords, a dictionary and thesaurus, flick football and a map of the stars.

Then there's Tom the talking cat, ostensibly for when my young nephews and nieces call round. Whatever you say to Tom he repeats in a funny voice. He purrs if you stroke him and recoils if you tap him. There are various buttons you can press which do funny things - all hilarious stuff for seven-year-olds. Also hilarious for grown-up people who should know better, too.

I was showing Tom to my sister and mother. We started laughing and, of course  he repeated the laugh, which made us laugh even more and so it went on, three grown women laughing hysterically  at a child's toy.

The Dearly Beloved and grown-up nephew also had a go - some of things Tom was repeating were QUITE unsuitable for young ears, as you can imagine.

You can even make little videos of him and here's joke I recorded just for you!

(Since posting this, it seems not everyone can get the video. If you want to know what the joke was, go to COMMENTS. Don't put yourself out, though, it wasn't that funny!)

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  1. Too bad, your video was unavailable. Maybe you are being censored? It is good to see you posting regularly. I had missed your slightly cynical tone of voice. It does a body good to read it.


  2. Good to see you back, Table. I couldn't access the video either though!

  3. Sorry about the video - it seems some people can get it and some can't. Anyway, here's the HILARIOUS joke told by Tom the Cat: What's the name of the loser in a cat fight?
    Answer: CLAUDE!
    Ho, ho, ho!

  4. Lol - There are never too many funny cat jokes in my view, they rate right up there with nun jokes :D

    Your youngest neice has beeb full of the joys of the cat app, dropping not so subtle hints that she needs an i-pad 2 too! I don't think she realises you can use it for anything other than keeping her amused!!

  5. That's a really bad joke, ha, ha.
    Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
    To show his friends he had guts.

  6. Great to see you back AMKT, I missed your wit. :)

    Couldn't see the video honey but I enjoyed your post.

  7. lol re conversation re braces. do you remember when we were young ladies and used to have long conversations with our girlfrends about 'what is going on in our boyfriend's heads?' How many many years it took out to finally find out that even the most intellectual looking gent has a head chock full of football, bouncing breasts and inane facts about Ferraris! And we wouldn't have it any other way would we?

  8. Has Tom been de-knackered? He certainly behaves as if he has.

  9. I can tell it's Friday . It took me a minute or two to get the joke .
    I want a new toy with crosswords , thesaurus and dictionary .... oh , and an atlas , the rules of cricket and a summary of Greek myths .
    Then I might actually fill in the odd clue ....

  10. claude! har de har har.
    my husband loves his ipad. uses it mainly to check the weather and send me extremely terse emails.

  11. Dear Cupcake Queen,
    If I had to spend my life keeping youngest niece amused then I would not consider it a life spent in vain! XXXX